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Family Relationships: Is Spanking The Right Way To Discipline?

family relationships

Family Relationships

Is Spanking The Right Way To  Discipline?

By Delores Brown

When I was growing up in the Caribbean the only discipline my parents knew about was spanking. I never got told to stand  in the corner or sit on the naughty step. Every time I did something naughty or was disobedient I got spanked.

Some of my unfortunate siblings got spanked more often than I did because they did not seem to fear getting hit. I for one hated getting spanked. I did not want to feel the pain. So I tried to be as obedient as possible out of fear.

My parents intimidated me. So my respect was out of the fear of getting hit. When I was growing up I never really understood the reason for the spanking except that I had done something wrong.

I grew up thinking that I would raise my children differently from how I was raised. I had hated being spanked. I also felt terrible afterwards and no one explained to me what I had done wrong.

Now remember I said I would raise my children differently? Sometimes patterns of behavior are handed down from generation to generation. Now I have my own daughter. And what did I do?

I spanked her of course every time she was naughty. However, my daughter was able to talk to me and express how she felt. She asked me why I was spanking her. I explained that she had been naughty and explained to her what she did.

You know what she told me? She told me that when I spank her she feels like I don’t love her. When I looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes I knew that spanking was the wrong form of discipline for her.

From that day on I never spanked her again. In her mind, spanking meant that I did not love her.  Now, I find other ways to discipline her. I take away toys that she likes, cut down TV time  and find other ways to discipline her.  I don’t spank. I also speak to her about what she is doing that I do not like.

Since I stopped spanking her our relationship is so much better. She does not doubt how much I love her and care for her and I try to tell her I love her everyday. So in my case spanking was the wrong form of discipline.

What do you think of spanking?

Let me know in the comments below.

 

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